One Year

A year ago, at this time I was sleeping fitfully, stressed about what was to come. Actually, I might have been up getting ready to leave the hotel.

Differences between today and a year ago: It is colder today (forecast says 69, last year was 93 or 94). There are more flowers around (the magnolia should be blooming soon. I walked by one Friday and it is heavy with buds). I am hiding in my office writing an essay rather than traveling across North America. I think I would rather be traveling than writing the essay. I know which way is north.

The biggest changes are actually more subtle. Knowing which way is north is part of my acclimation process, though I suspect I would still get confused if I were to head off to Chapel Hill again. I don't feel so out of place here now, the first few months I felt totally alien. Seeing the NC license plates looks natural now, and no longer creates a sense of dislocation. The reminders in signs on trucks and buses, and bulletin boards has also become natural. The thick southern accents, the changing accents still stand out, though that is in part due to my being in an area that is very cosmopolitan, and there is a great variety of different accents here. The heavy green that comes from plant life is still assaultive, but I enjoy the abuse. This spring has been so much prettier than last (a late, heavy frost hurt many of the flowers last year I think), in part because I have watched it through the whole season. I remember how shocked I was coming from the naked grays of Alberta to the green here, how strange and unreal it all felt. Now, as I look at images from the north, I think how strange it would be to see so little green. Even in the midst of January there was a lot of green from the magnolias and holly and pines.

The changes I have experienced over the last year are harder to identify and write about. I have done some things, casually, that I could not have done in the past. Other things I have known as I was doing them that they were extraordinary for me, but I was still doing them. Some things I had not thought I could do, yet I did them without too much trouble. That is a bit ambiguous I suppose, but it is hard to define the changes that have occurred when they have been so gradual in many cases. I am different today than I was a year ago, and not just because I know which way is north. I have acquired a deep affection for the startling blue skies, the multi-hued greens that are everywhere, and the warm weather (even in winter).

I have changed over this past year, I suppose. But it is hard to identify those changes. I am comfortable in my current location, though I miss my family at times. It will be interesting to see how I feel in a year.