Tuesday

I walked to school yesterday. Google maps says it is 2.5 miles. I felt a bit caved in the afternoon, so I walked home as well. Later, I walked around the block for a grand total of 5.5 miles (approx.). The weather was wonderful, and the green. Most of the trees have decided it is time to put out baby leaves. I was thinking, during my stroll home, that there is as much color in spring as fall, but it is in many cases subtler. Rather than the huge masses of red and yellow, there are smaller batches of white, red, yellow, blue, etc. etc. Maybe subtler is not the right word as it is a quantity issue. I walked past a forsythia bush that was so yellow it looked like it was on fire, that is not subtle, but it was the only patch of such bright color on that block.

Short timer's fever has settled in. I find I no longer care much about school or finishing my projects, while knowing I have to do so, and that I need to do as good a job as possible. I am enjoying my class, the one I am teaching, and I am relaxing into the role of teacher. The workshop is down to a who cares, I am going to play segment. Experiments with sound and form. At least this week.

April begins tomorrow, and I will have 24 days left in the program.

Tuesday March 24

Spring does not come tippy-toeing in here. It marches in wearing army boots and a tutu. Every day is a little greener, every day a new plant puts up its celebratory flag. It would be hard to be indifferent to the beauty and the violence of a North Carolinian spring.

Five weeks of classes, and one week of grading are all that remain in my MFA program. I would skip the grading if I could, the same way my students would skip the writing. In yesterday's class, I noticed a fair amount of indifference to the work I had them do. As they were packing up to leave, I reminded them that five weeks remain in the term, and that they had to write 19 pages in those weeks. I don't know if they had made that connection, and I could see some panic appear in some faces. I don't like to terrify, but I need to motivate them (final month apathy settles in I do believe) and I am not able to inspire by enthusiasm (short-timer's fever eats my eagerness).

I don't have much of my own work to finish, one 20 page paper and a few poems. Neither are all that onerous, and that is a change in attitude from back in my undergrad years. Two weeks to do the paper, and three weeks for the poems, easy as dreaming.

I am looking forward to my walk to school this morning. Spring is here, excitement, enthusiasm, awe.

Another two

I received a letter from UNC-Chapel Hill this evening. I have been accepted into the SILS program, so I will be going to school for another two years, give or take a few days. Librarian guy, that's me now.

I am excited and scared, and not wanting to deal with all the paperwork. Chapel Hill here I come.

a weak later

Well, this has been a tired week. I seem to have spent the last five days since the time change wanting sleep. The first few days make sense, my clock was funky, I was going to bed too late and rising to early. But the last few days I have been sleeping long enough, but I wake tired, go through the day tired, and go to bed tired. I think it must be more than just the time failure. Allergies?

Speaking of allergies, the Bartlett pears are blooming, banks of trees covered in white blossoms so heavy it looks like they are covered in living snow (living cause the blossoms have a faint pink hue). The forsythia is yellowing, some of the early blooming magnolia have huge blossoms (white to black, but there is a beautiful shade of red I love), and of course the lilies are everywhere. I walked past a row of lilies yesterday, and was assaulted by their perfume. It was lovely, though cold. There is a river birch down the street that has a broken branch leaning over the sidewalk. It is pumping so much sap out that it has created a small puddle. Meanwhile, the rest of the woods take on that fuzzy green tint that comes as new leaves begin to grow. Some early leavers have already greened up, and that lifted my spirits last week.

I have short-timers fever. Five weeks left, and I have completed my degree. Is it too early or too late to begin to panic?

Friday, again

Strange how horrible a Friday can seem when it is the end of a break. No longer am I lazying about with acres of hours and miles of days to waste, now it is back to a simple weekend. How depressing.

Weather improvement: Mid-sixties today, high of eighty for Sunday and seventy-nine for Monday. A week late, but better than the cold white stuff we had to start this week.

I did not get as much done this break as I wanted to get done, however, I have managed to get some things done. My usual spring break: big plans, small results. Maybe I should plan on not doing anything and then not feel guilty when I achieve my goal?

I do feel recharged and ready for the rest of the semester. I was very very grumpy Wednesday. I think I woke up sad cause I could not go to the arboretum (though I was not consciously aware of this sorrow), and so my day was miserable.

I am going to try and get some stuff done today. Eagerness comes before a realization that my expectations exceed the day's hourly limit.

Monday March 2

Because a certain sister strongly suggested I report on my weather this morning, I am.

White stuff sticks on surfaces
It is cold

I think I shall move further south
say the coast of Mexico

I thought it was Spring