Insomnamaniac

3:43 am and I have been awake nearly an hour. I can feel the weight of my sleeplessness gathering weight, pushing me into an early grumpiness. But I resist, and resistance is not futile as shown by the consistent defeat the implacable Borg suffer at the hands of individuals. Now that was a show laden with ideology.

Poor kitty is still not home. She is eating again, but a bit wobbly on her legs. Vet says she does not think she could make it to the litter box, or else she would be back with us.

Just for the record, it is currently 58 and yesterday's high was 71. December 19. Bring on winter.

Well, lets not. I am definitely in the grips of my usual pre-Christmas blahs.

I have been working on my syllabus for next term this past week. Struggling at times, having some experience from last semester has not made the job easier this semester. I do not think I served my students all that well, at times anyway, and I would like to make this coming semester more useful for them. But therein lies my problem, how to make it useful when most research says freshman English is of little long term value.

I have also been working on my thesis. That is depressing as well. The more I learn about poetry, the more I read and grow, the less I like what I do. I think some of it is not bad, but none of it actually achieves the status I seek. Reaching back to my gamer days, it is like having a perfect game, where every quest was resolved to achieve the greatest reward, every area explored, and before the final you beat the game movie played, I would dump the character I had built and start all over again with a new character. Endings do not interest me as much as beginnings and middles.

Today we are off to a local kittey rescue site to see if we can find Daph a friend. We will not be bringing anyone home today, or even this year I suspect as D must recover first, but we will look and see who might fit our house.

Coffee is ready, so I go for grabbing a cup.

The wind shifts the chimes
a cricket sings
how can this be winter?