Sunday Morning

I am at Barb's this morning waiting for the house to rise from its rest and begin moving about. Later today I will head off to Carol's and then back to Edmonton for a few hours. Soon I will no longer be in Canada. 25 hours and my plane leaves.

The trip to Cold Lake was long and boring. There was a strong gusting wind that kept threatening to blow my bed out of the truck everytime I headed north. Fortunately, most of the trip is more east than North, but there were times when I wondered if it would stay in the truck.

I have been sleeping on the bed here at Barb's. It has been nice to have my own bed to sleep on, maybe I should cart my bed everywhere I go. Have bed will sleep anywhere.

My next post will be in Chapel Hill. I should have a photo or two to put up then as well. It should be warm when I get there as well, mid eighties!

35 hours until I am in Chapel Hill.

pre-moving post

My final final exam as an undergrad is complete. Strangely enough, I grew bored half way through the exam and had to struggle to keep working. I suspect my boredom will impact the grade I receive, however it is hard to care at the moment. I am finished with my undergrad work.

I might have imagined I would be feeling a wild elation as I left school, but…I am not sure how I feel. There is some regret, a portion of my life ends. There is some satisfaction; I have managed to achieve a long held dream. But I am neither extremely happy nor extremely sad. I looked around me at school and said “this will likely be the last time I look at the school,” and had no strong emotional reaction. Some of my lack of emotional exuberance may be because I will be in school for another two years. My undergrad years have ended, but not my school years.

The weather here is wonderful. It is bright, warm, and there is a hint of green in the grass. As I got off the bus at school this morning I could smell spring through the diesel. I guess I am leaving at a time that will ensure I do not get a spring this year. Summer is in effect in North Carolina.

This is my last post from my computer at my apartment. I am not sure when I will next update, or from where, but I suspect it will be in another country in another time.

I wonder. Can I forget academic writing for a few months and just have some fun with words?

Goodbye Edmonton
Goodbye apartment
Goodbye computer

4 days 19 hours

What Remains?

It is much harder to get rid of the last of what lingers here in the apartment. Happy characters have claimed all the good and cool stuff leaving me with a few unwanted things. I have managed very well though, and what I continue to stub my toe on is minor. In four days the boxes I am shipping will be gone, five days my computer, six days me. I am fortunate that the weather has been miserable, wet, and white encouraging me to keep thinking green. And I have remained motivated, even though a huge wind stomped on North Carolina last week. Trees slapped down all over the place, and the intense green looked so sad. How can it be so green there and so grey/brown here? Reminds me of “Beautiful Day” by Tom Cochrane:

Don't forget to put your screen on
No I don't care if I burn to the ground today
I'm sick and tired of shades of grey and brown
Gonna put this brim hat on
Just to be cool

I would add to that color scheme white as well. Who wants white at the end of April? I would add some purple from lilacs, even the yellow of a surprise dandelion growing on the hot side of some derelict house. And after so many days of clouds, a little blue would be pleasing as well.

The Phil final was brutal. At the end of two hours, 80% of the class was still writing. I don’t think I did all that well. I did get 20/20 on the final assignment so all I need to pass the class is 17% on the final. I think I managed to do that. Friday I took the text in thinking I would partially redeem the course by selling the text, but the sixth edition will be out this fall and the book store said no thanks. So I donated it.

Made my last toddle down to the Safeway (I hope) this morning. Every time I look around I see more things I need to do. Instead, I am studying for a few exams Tuesday and Wednesday. Both are English exams and I am not worried. I have read all the texts and attended 99% of the classes. I missed one class for both courses, and I skipped both classes because I was working on an essay for another class. I consider that a justifiable skip. That reminds me of a time when I was 15 and nearing the end of ninth grade. I walked off the bus at the school and went down town. When the hardware store opened I bought a spool of fishing line and a hook, walked to the edge of town and caught a ride to the river. I sat along the riverbank watching the water heading east and dreaming of other rivers I had read about. That happened in late May or early June. For those who might not know, I always wanted to do the Huck Finn drift down the river on a raft kind of thing. I have always felt that afternoon was better spent along the riverbank than it would have been in school. But then, by this time, school was becoming a despised space, a place where boredom filled the rooms, and on hot June days you could hear it buzzing against the glass, a listless and rather dead sound. Even the teachers made little effort to attract the interest of their students.

One more update to come before I leave. I am currently thinking I will post something in the afternoon of the 25^th after I say goodbye to some boxes.

8 days

Monday's Moan

I am a fan of Edmonton Freecycle. I had so many small items—dishes, end tables, old stereo—that were not worth any money. Freecycle has allowed me to give these items away, and to feel good doing so. I think one of the biggest pleasures is seeing the happy faces as the recipients walk away. One man’s excess is another person’s desire. Still, I miss my books (unread though many were), I miss my stereo (ancient as it was), and I miss the clutter. All I have left to give away are a few small items, one wobbly coffee table (I used it as a printer stand, which caused some excitement as it rocked in tune with the printer), my big U shaped desk, and the chair I am sitting on at this moment. Barren. The apartment has not looked this empty since the day I decided to say yes and move in.

I suppose it is not too surprising that I should feel some sadness as I pack up. I have lived in this place for three years. I have done a lot of writing, a lot of thinking. Excess knowledge and earned wisdom stain the walls. I wonder if the landlady will buy that story? My place is growing cleaner, though I could still use some help. Where are those gremlins you read so much about when they are needed?

I should be studying tonight ( (x)(Sx > (Px & Gx & Wx)) but I have run out of desire for the moment. I am having motivational problems with this course. The material is interesting enough, but it is only a course I need to take to graduate, nothing more. I know I will not invest more time and effort in the area, though I may find some use for what I have learned. ah well, the exam is on Wednesday, and after that I can proceed to forget all I have stuffed into my memory over the last four months.

I am going to go read some more of Bleak House (suitable text for my current situation).
13 days

A Friday Chuckle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCJkuXSTymk

I wrote the first of my final finals as an undergrad last night. It was a tough exam, but it is now over and I can move on.

Speaking of moving I will be busy taping and itemizing boxes this weekend while trying to study and prepare for my Symbolic Logic course. My apartment is slowly starting to empty out. I have some things on free cycle at the moment, though I have little hope they will move. I also reposted my computer at Craig’s List. For a city with a very active Free Cycle it is strange how quiet Craig’s List is. That sentence requires a little first aid, but I am too lazy to do so tonight.

I really have little to say tonight, my last week has been spent studying, packing, and giving my library rejects to a new and loving home. They shall be missed. I will miss them. I would pay somebody ten whole dollars to take care of my move for me. I could then sit in my nice easy chair and write/edit my poetry and read Bleak House. Though I am not sure I would want to live in a world where someone would do two weeks work for ten dollars, so maybe I should recall that wish and wish for the wealth to pay someone a huge pile of dough…wonder if the Pillsbury doughboy works cheap?

On the up side, I have 14 days left in this place. Then two days in Cold Lake seeing sisters, and then off to America. I have been listening to WKNC (http://www.wknc.org/) lately. That is the radio station that serves NC State. A great station if you are looking for a station that plays good rock with a little old Zappa now and again. And no commercials. I have become a fan of commercial free radio on the internet. For the week or so I will be computerless life will be like the old days when all you could hear was CHED and their pop, or Wilf Carter on the Lloyd station. Mom loved old yodeling Wilf.

16 days

Two Inch Wasps

I was skimming onegoodmove.org and came across an article from Burning Bird about these really big and horrific wasps http://burningbird.net/connecting/bee-gone/. For someone who has a middling bee phobia (they don’t really scare me just make my back muscles crawl towards the top of my spine looking for some place to hide) the article is a true nightmare. Wasps that are two inches long and can kill a child or dog with one sting. Any desire I might have had to visit France is quickly being replaced with a strong I might go if you paid me response.

I handed in my last undergrad essay last night. The actual act of placing the paper on the small pile of essays already present was anticlimactic. Earlier I walked through Hub Mall on my way to the cash machine to take out some money so I could buy my Diet Coke/Fair Trade combo that keeps me awake. As I wandered down the long aisle, hall, elevator shaft, whatever it is, I smiled and thought about how close I am to completing my degree. I need to pull out the journal I was writing when I started at the University to see if I made any predictions on how it would feel to be wrapping up a dream. Unfortunately, the journal is in that box, near the bottom, or is it that one? One of those boxes for sure.

It was miserably cold on my walk home last night. Miserably cold for the fifth of April. As I tromped past MacEwan, I wondered if it had been this cold the last month I was there. My memory is filled with warm strolls home for the final month there, but surely, it could not have been that much warmer. Their new building is nearly finished on the outside, and I won’t get to see the finished product.

I registered for classes at NC State this week. It is going to be cold up south this week (frost possible this weekend), but the flowers are blooming.

My weekend is going to be filled with (x)(Sx > Px) but more complex versions. I am not looking forward to the logic, but do it I must. When I hand in my assignment on Wednesday I will have completed all my undergrad work, only a few exams will remain. One short week of classes, four exams, and off I fly to some new and ill-defined future.

24 days. Moving date: April 30, 2007