December 27

I feel all nostalgic and fuzzy this morning. I have come down with a bug (fever, urpy but not pukey, achey, and now sweaty as the fever breaks), and it reminds me of Christmas seasons when I was young. Seems I was sick at least 90% of those holidays before I turned 12. Of course it could just be that I am still feverish and hallucinating. I had some great fever dreams when sick as a kid. Ants covering every surface, the spider at the foot of the bed whose leg stretched and touched my nose, and my personal favorite, the flying wiener skin. I can remember running into the kitchen to show Mom and Barb my discovery and being horribly disappointed that I could not recreate the phenomenon.

I am also a bit disappointed. I had planned on going for a nice long walk today, but that likely won't happen now. Even worse, the temperature is wonderful and the walk would have been pleasant.

Ahh well. Hopefully, this bug will grow weary of harassing me and move on to more accommodating persons.

What I ate

Chocolate
Pancakes w/ genuine Pennsylvania Maple Syrup
Cream of celery soup w/ french bread and two kinds of spreads
chocolate
three samosas
big blob o curry w/rice
naan
chocolate midnight pie with raspberry sauce and mint/almond stuff
other stuff I am forgetting

I look back on yesterday, and it is all one big eat with a short break for a walk to the lake. It is good I don't eat this way every day. I still feel stuffed after so many hours.

Today, it is back to the old grinding.

Kitty is eating well and getting better daily. I am afraid she is deaf as a post, half blind, and miserable. At least the miserable part was there before her trauma. She hops off the couch with hardly a stumble.

the o on this keyboard sticks, what a pain. maybe I shall turn all o's into e's or a's instead????

Merry Christmas

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas. May your supper table overflow, your family be happy, and your traditions be joyful.

Two things

One: Daph came home yesterday afternoon. She is eating and drinking, but still wobbly as all get out. She does this weird Stevie Wonder head bobble, and falls down at strange moments, but she is alert, and a nuisance, and she hops up on the couch by herself. She has not used her pot yet, I think we will have to find something with lower sides for her.

On the kind side, the vet did not charge for her services. Over ten days stay in the little caravan, injections, etc. etc., and no cost. Yes, I had little wet things in me eyes.


Two: It's fricken cold here this morning. One would almost think I were living in Canada or something.

Three: I have been a lazy bum lately. I have to send out some xmas cards soon or it will be past xmas.

Four: I apparently need to take a maths class or two.

Insomnamaniac

3:43 am and I have been awake nearly an hour. I can feel the weight of my sleeplessness gathering weight, pushing me into an early grumpiness. But I resist, and resistance is not futile as shown by the consistent defeat the implacable Borg suffer at the hands of individuals. Now that was a show laden with ideology.

Poor kitty is still not home. She is eating again, but a bit wobbly on her legs. Vet says she does not think she could make it to the litter box, or else she would be back with us.

Just for the record, it is currently 58 and yesterday's high was 71. December 19. Bring on winter.

Well, lets not. I am definitely in the grips of my usual pre-Christmas blahs.

I have been working on my syllabus for next term this past week. Struggling at times, having some experience from last semester has not made the job easier this semester. I do not think I served my students all that well, at times anyway, and I would like to make this coming semester more useful for them. But therein lies my problem, how to make it useful when most research says freshman English is of little long term value.

I have also been working on my thesis. That is depressing as well. The more I learn about poetry, the more I read and grow, the less I like what I do. I think some of it is not bad, but none of it actually achieves the status I seek. Reaching back to my gamer days, it is like having a perfect game, where every quest was resolved to achieve the greatest reward, every area explored, and before the final you beat the game movie played, I would dump the character I had built and start all over again with a new character. Endings do not interest me as much as beginnings and middles.

Today we are off to a local kittey rescue site to see if we can find Daph a friend. We will not be bringing anyone home today, or even this year I suspect as D must recover first, but we will look and see who might fit our house.

Coffee is ready, so I go for grabbing a cup.

The wind shifts the chimes
a cricket sings
how can this be winter?

Semester 1 done

At 13:35 I submitted the grades for this term. In the last day and a half I have graded 22 sets of papers from my students,and now I am a bit burnt, dreaming of a nap, but the vet is coming to poke and prod the kitty, so I am not allowed to sleep. Ahhh, sweet sleep.

I did not feel to put upon grading today as the weather is rather damp (thundershowers and rain). It is warm however, right now the thermometer says 67.

I think I learned a great deal teaching this semester. I am convinced it is not a career for me, though I also think I would be good at it given practice.There were days when I left the class this term sure I had wasted the student's time, other days when I was sure I had managed to give them something useful. In general, if pressed to make a claim, I would say the course was not a total waste of their time. Optimism lies at the center of every teachers philosophy.

Nasty booms outside. It still feels weird to get thunderstorms in December. Sounds like hail too!!

It feels great to have finished this semester!

Living the Life

The cold weather lately has frozen up all the intertubes in this area making it impossible to post on this blog. :)

Well, it has been cold, but I have been snuggled up tight with my computer working away. Fortunately I have a little breathing room today and tomorrow. Here is some of what I was working on: http://smlingrell.com/TeachingPortfolio.html

Starting Wednesday, I will have a whole whack of essays to grade, and then this semester will be finito completo. If you are wondering why I am seemingly so silly this morning, it is cause I woke at 3:30 and could not get back to sleep. So, I am in one of them funky sleepy moods.

I do not remember when my last post was, but things have been going well for me. Thanksgiving was pleasant, the last week of school was fine. I took some cookies into class on the last day and gave my students a treat. Hopefully, they walked out of the semester having learned something useful as well.

I now have a few weeks to work on my stuff before the final semester begins. It is going to be a busy time for me. But we can always hope it will be pleasant. :)

End of a season

I have finished both presentations, and I feel good to have them finished. They were the last major exercise for the two classes, now I need to finish my teaching portfolio and grade a whole whack of papers for the class I am teaching, but I am essentially finished with this semester. yayh

The presentations went well. I have learned from the semester of teaching how to babble away and not say anything. I went in to the first one knowing I would end up at around 12 minutes of a 15 minute presentation, and that is what I did. A few questions, and the show was over. Yesterday's presentation of Domanski's first book The Cape Breton Book of the Deadwent well. Only 8 students showed up for class and I ended up being the only one presenting. I was a little concerned during my initial run through that I would be over my time limit (20 minutes), but when I found out I was the only presenter, I said great, and just babbled away. I think I ended up at around 40 minutes (a guess as I did not check before going up in front of the class). Interestingly enough, it was fun. Both of them were. Yes, I was a little nervous at the start, but shortly after getting going, it was all pleasure.

When I returned to school some years back now (5?), one of my major worries was that I would not be able to do the presentations that are a big part of class work. At first, it was difficult, but the drama course made a huge difference, and I have seen a large increase in my confidence in the last year. Yes, I am chuffed with my self.

The weather has become cold and icky here now. I miss the warmth already. Today is not too bad, in fact it feels more like spring than late fall, and I am pleased with it. I actually found my toque and gloves before leaving this morning!!

I am nearly one semester away from having completed this degree! wow, how time flies when you are stressed out.

Speaking to ppt

Last week was a rather quite week. Nothing special happened in classes, or in the one I teach. The only thing of note was a reading by Phillip Levine. He is now 80, looking a little frail, but when he reads his poetry, his voice is strong and he sounds young. He was probably the best reader that I have seen since Dodge.

This week is busy, at least the early part. A presentation this afternoon and another Wednesday will keep my hopping. After that, it is all downhill until school quits for christmas. So soon.

The weather has turned winter here. Blech I says, blech.

The Elephant and the Rose

The day after the day after. Have you gotten used to saying President Obama yet?

Riding the bus to school yesterday I heard one young man saying he thought Obama would never make it, all the late, undecided voters would swarm the ballot box and McCain would win. His friend, a supporter of the old man and the procreator, was having a tough time. Seems he had spent much of the last three months trash talking, and now all his words are coming back to bite him in sensitive spots.

I spent the night sitting on the couch watching CNN's online coverage and madly refreshing their election results page. One of the most exciting races occurred right here in NC. The vote count is still going on, with Obama ahead by about 14 thousand.

Fall has finally painted the world here. I am hoping to get out and take some photos of the pretties today.

Monday. Last week was a lost week. My class submitted their essays for the second essay, and I spent the week, and a portion of the weekend, grading their papers. On the happy side, I have completed the grading (last one graded Saturday, and all of them returned Sunday). I was quite pleased with how the class performed on this last collection of essays. The class average was likely a B, and that is better than the last grade. In general, their work was better than with the first essay.

Fall has descended on us, much to my disappointment. How can I boast about warm weather when it is cold? Though it was awesome here yesterday.



The colors of fall are stunning. Not only do the leaves take on these vibrant reds and yellows, but the pines seem greener in contrast. Yesterday's high was 75, which is the best we will do for a while.

My application to Chapel Hill's MSILS is submitted. All I have to do is call NAIT and get them to send a transcript out. And then wait for some kind of response. I have not begun to think about what I will/may do if I do not get accepted. Work may be hard to come by given the current state of the economy.

I have lived in NC for just over 18 months, and I still revel in the fact that in early November it can get to 75. Our neighbor planted pansies and some ornamental kale last week.

Time for me to get busy. Another week, and only four more to go before the term ends.

I am sure that I should be working this morning. But the weather resists any serious attempt at thought. It is one of the usual fall miseries, where the rain comes down in a steady mist, not really raining, but not dry either. The clouds are thick enough to give the surface of everything a pallor that seeps in and weakens motivation. So I sit here, in my office, watching cars dribble by lacklusterly. That is me imposing my mood on the world, of course, but the world is strong enough to deal with my lack of enthusiasm. I am sure there are some excited souls in the city, but not here in this upstairs room.

I did have a good week. I enjoyed meeting with my students in conferences, the classes went well. The weather, while fricken cold, was sunny and gorgeous.

Today I have a paper to grade, and a whole lot of my own work to deal with. I would list it here, but I am afraid to do so. Building a mountain and knowing it is just the first of many, some much higher, to come is intimidating.

To work I go. Mopeyly.

So I did the voting thing Thursday. It took nearly an hour, mostly because a fair number of people were still doing the register to vote. And, because this is early voting, the polling people had to dig out the correct form form their stack of forms. Everyone was smiling and friendly, so the whole process was painless. It feels strange in some ways to think that this is the first time I have ever voted, and it is in NC. At the same time, I feel virtuous, and patriotic.

Friday was a usual day. School, class, home. I have to decide on the text I will use next semester to try and lead my students from one state into another (hoping that new state is not a fugue state). I have a stack of books to look through this weekend, and I have the following things to do: write my teaching phil, my grading phil, finish my class observation, grade some journals, look at some essays...I think I am forgetting something.

I was going to go for a walk this morning, but it has been raining all night, so that may not be an option. It is cold enough now that I could do it later should the rain ever stop falling. I do need the walk. I am all achy and old this morning.

I am tired this morning. I stayed up to watch the silly fools debate last night. I remain convinced they are exactly what I thought they were.

So, I am short on sleep this morning.To make it worse, the long term weather forecast says cold weather ahead. Summer ends I suppose, but wouldn't it be great if it were to last just another couple months? It will be warm today, and that is something I can cling to in the coming cold and dark days.

It has been a busy week, though all weeks are busy now so that does not really offer any differentiation. I find it shocking to think that I am already into the middle of October, and only a few weeks left in the entire semester.

Bit early for working, but off I go anyway.
Another long day (but I get to vote!), and a busy weekend ahead of me. I hope to get down to the lake, maybe, on the weekend. Take some photos of the start of icky fall.

Saturday of course

My fall break is nearly over and I have wasted away the hours of the days. Wednesday I went to the arboretum (link to the photos is in Wednesday's post).

Just out of general interest, kitty just attacked her toy, it apparently insulted her.

where was I? Oh yes, feeling like I have not accomplished anything this weekend. Thursday I don't remember much of what I did, if I did anything. Friday we went to the Farmer's Market (photos linked to the right). We picked up some great veggies and took them home to have one of the best suppers in a while. Roasted veggies (onion, turnip, sweet tater, carrot, and tomato), dry fried tofu with a lime glaze, some fresh beans, and some fresh baked sour dough bread. Yum.

I started the application process for my second masters and after two seconds remembered how horrible the process is and began to think that I hate the application process and why do I even want to go through the process. I do know the answer to this. I hate doing it because I am coming as a supplicant saying choose me. I enter from a position of powerlessness. Yesterday Carol asked me if I could see myself as a librarian and I did not know. I a thinking this morning that that is the wrong question. What I need to do right now is try to envision myself as a student of library science. What does it look/feel like to be studying in this area? When I applied for my MFA I had a good idea of what it would involve. Workshops and classes in literature. Easy. I do not know what the study of libraries looks like.

Any way, I am going to go get me into some working. Maybe make some progressing. At least I have my grading done, and I can move forward into the gap created by my own hard work to produce. See, I am getting good at writing gobbledy-gook. :)

Wednesday but feels like Friday

Fall break begins for me today. Though, as with most school holidays, I am not really getting a holiday. Well, that is only half a day false. I am leaving this morning for the arboretum, and will be back in time for lunch. So, fall break, for me, lasts half a day. yippee

Fall has arrived here, it is frickin cold at nights, and the day time highs are silly low.

I am afraid. The semester is half done, and I am not half way to where I want to be. Though I am getting to the point where I will be glad that the semester is over. School burnout. I wish I could take the next four days, fly down to the ocean, and sit with my big toe in the freezing cold Atlantic waters. At least I assume they are freezing cold at this time of the year. frickin fall

If you check back later today (tonight), I will have a link to my picassa site, and any photos I take while visiting the arboretum. A few days late, but here are the arboretum photos.

Oct. 5

Just a quick note this morning. I graded 8 papers yesterday, and have another 7.5 to do today. I do not like grading, but it has to be done, so I do it. I should finish up today, unless something strange happens. I am hoping to be done early enough to get some of the administrative duties done as well.

I am looking forward to next week. I have class Monday and Tuesday, and then I am off for five days! And no grading to do! I will have a lt of other tasks to do, but nothing as crazy as this weekend. Though I will be repeating the whole thing three more times over the next few months.

I think I will,weather permitting, go to the arboretum next week. It has been a long time since I was last there. Assuming I don't have a cold. I feel questionably ill this morning. Probably due to an excess of grading.

Well, off I go.

monday sept 29

I received my first batch of student papers this morning. Over the next week I will be busy grading. I resist grading, but it is something that has to be done.

My weekend has been mostly busy. Saturday morning the power was down so off to wholey-moley-that's-costly foods.I am glad we don't shop there very often. I think Whole Foods is suffering a bit, they have so many specialty foods that are high priced, and with the economy struggling, I suspect they are cutting out anything that is not a great seller.

Production was minimal on my thesis this past week. Out of ten hours that I was supposed to do, I managed three. I don't know if I can do any better this week considering that I have 22 papers to grade. So, no movie for me this last week. Though I did watch the big debates. I will be off to vote in a couple of weeks, how great to get a chance to change the world huh?

This week, I lead a tour of the library, then I do my usual class, assuming I can make the slog there in time. Wednesday I have a brown bag lunch thingie to attend, followed by workshop. Friday I will be observed by a peer, and hopefully get some feedback on my teaching/class.

I do believe we have begun either week 6 or week 7, nearly half the semester is complete...eek eek eek.

busy week(s)

I have been running towards multiple goals all week, and not making much headway, or if I am being really positive (which I suppose I am at this moment), I am making huge strides in some spaces while other spaces are suffering.

Successes: I am doing well with my eval of my student's journals. In fact, I have been pleased with most of them. I think they are far more open in their writings than I would be. What is really helping me with these is that I can see them as individuals rather than papers that have to be graded. When I stand in front of the class, it is easy to forget that each one of those faces staring at me rather blankly at times, is an individual. Between the journals and the conferences this week, I am seeing the students as people, and that is satisfying. I suppose, If I could, the one-on-one kind of teaching is what I would prefer to do, with the material that each student works on being designed specifically to help them meet their goals.

Failures: Last week I made a pact with Carol. No movies unless I put in ten hours of thesis work, and she put in 100 hours (ok, geez, 20 hours) of lit review. So far this week I have managed 2 hours (or 1, I have not looked this morning). I should manage some tomorrow, and definitely more Saturday, but the ten this week is not likely.

I also have to finish working on my CV and get that live. I suspect I have other things I should be working on as well, but I am afraid to go look.

The weather has turned miserable. We won't get back to 80 until maybe Monday. Cold and rainy weekend. Though I suppose the wetness will help the plants grow a little more.

Friday September 19

The weather has deteriorated here. The highs have collapsed to mid to high 70's, and it feels cold after all the warm weather. I wonder how far south I will have to go to remain warm alla time?

It is a beautiful morning though. Clear, smells great, feels a bit chilly, but I guess given the season, I cannot expect more. The sad part, or perhaps SAD part, is that the sun does not rise until after seven today.

I was walking to the store yesterday and knew which direction I was walking in. North. Like I am now facing South. Big steps after spending a year wondering which way was what. I suspect if I were to get out of my comfort space I would be totally lost again.

The sun really has hit the fall zone, the angle of light is so different from August.

School continues to chuggley along like always. I am busy, and getting busier. I am ready to have my MFA and move on. How strange to think of myself as a nearly graduated graduate student. Not bad for a high school drop out.

Sunday September fourteen

Week five of the fall semester begins tomorrow. One third of the whole course is complete already. Talk about anxiously grinding my teeth down to nubs. Now if a wee fairy came along and offered me three wishes, I would expend one on rolling the clock back to the start of August (with all the work I have done still completed), thus giving me a few more hours to do the things I should be doing. Of course, with fairies being fickle creatures, I would likely find that the roll back would result in some major penalty and I would deeply regret having made that wish. Are there any stories out there where a person made a wish and had it work out positively?

I just stepped outside to water the lantana (it was looking a little droopy due to water deprivation) and it is hot (75) outside. Forecast high is 94 for today. Even so, I think I need to take a short walk this morning. I am working on pulling my thesis (rough draft) together so I can submit it later today or Monday morning. Lots of work, and lots of stress. I have managed to get most of the little nit-picking grad school requirements covered, now it is all up to filling the page requirement. Gack and gag, ain't it all awkward.

Because I am a positive thinker, I am thinking that soon it will be all over and I can move on to the next phase of my weird little life.

Busy week. Must begin. Work.

Sunday Sept 7

Friday night and Saturday morning we received a little over five inches of rain from Hanna. There was some flooding and fallen trees in our area, but no major damage.

Shortly after the storm I went for a walk down to the lake. Walnut Creek was flowing over its banks in a number of places, the three or four foot banks were stuffed full of water. I have never seen the creek that high in the little over a year I have been here.

Seconds. Everything is repeating now, second summer, second fall,second thanksgiving, and the luster is fading. I think I need to move somewhere new, like...somewhere warmer???


Speaking of warmer, the ac is out downstairs and today is going to be a hot one. The maintenance guy says it will be down until Monday. Blech is the word I have to say about that.

Hanna

Hanna looks to be softening as she goes along. The projected wind speeds here have dropped from a steady 50 something (with gusts over 100) down to 22 mph. Rainfall is still expected to be around 2.5 inches, but we received that much just last week. I actually got rather wet on that day, it was a wonderful warm rain. Unless something changes, it looks like Hanna won't do too much to Raleigh. Ike might be a different story. His projected path appears to be the same as Hanna's, however he is a much stronger storm. It will be interesting to see what happens as he begins to swing north, if he does.

It is a beautiful morning. Clear, not a breeze, the crickets are making more noise than the traffic, and the crows are complaining as per usual. I suppose I should feed the birds today, both feeders are empty, the greedy little critters.

School is chugging along just fine. Week three is nearly over and we are going into the long haul. Students are less eager to work as they begin to struggle to stay on top of all the work they have to do.

I am sitting beside a mom that is thinking about blooming.It has 1000 buds and it looks ready to explode. The big rain last week actually flodded some of our plants, killing the poor things. Hopefully the rain that comes this weekend won't kill any more plants.

Sept. 1 Labor Day

For the first time in four days I feel half way alive. I came down with a fall cold Thursday, and have been suffering ever since. For a few days there I was a walking snot machine, dribbling everywhere. But, this morning, I can breath without too much difficulty, my throat is not sore, and I feel semi-energetic.

My first week of teaching went ok. I am beginning to settle into the class, and I feel less nervous with each class I teach. Life is starting to pick up once more, and soon I will be racing around wishing I had not been sick at the start of the month and able to get some of the things I was supposed to get done done.

We received a little bit of rain last week as well. Enough to drown one of the plants, poor thing. The forecast for the next week looks decent, warm weather, mostly sunny, and nice all around.

Happy Labor day to all those who have to labor to live. I certainly feel lucky to have a soft (though poor paying) job.

Wednesday August 27

I awoke to the sound of rain on my window, a suitably peaceful end of August sound. We have had so little rain this summer that I had forgotten what rain sounds like.

When wandering around downstairs last night closing blinds, I thought how strange it feels for me to be living in the city. I spent so many years out in the bush that I still feel unsettled in the city. Given the price of gas I am glad I live close enough to school that I do not have to sell my toes to get around.

School is going. Monday's class was a boring event for me and the students. Yesterday's went better, I had more fun, and I think the students did as well. Today I am going to attend a lunch thing that will allow me to hear how people build collaborative writing assignments, and then I have another workshop.

I have been busy, but most of what I have been doing is boring. School work and no play makes Mike have nothing to say.

Saturday, August nearly over

Day two of teaching went well. It was less exciting than day one, mostly because I sat in class and the students spent half of it doing an in class writing thingie. I am, for the most part, impressed with their writing abilities. They do need improvement, but they are already quite competent, which is to be expected I suppose. If they were not competent they would not be in this class. The fun part begins now, as I start to introduce them to science writing, I get to watch their competence collapse. I think my biggest problem will be to figure out how to do the things I want to do in the little time I have available. 50 minute classes limits what I can do. Trying to get groups together, have them look at some problem, and then report back to class takes time. I feel like finding one of them time dilators, bringing it to class and increasing the amount of time I have to torture the students. Ahh well, soon it will be Christmas and i will be panicking cause I have done nothing, so off to work I go.

Day One

I finished my first solo an hour ago. Siting in my cubicle just before class, I was nervous and tense. I remembered some of the tips I learned way back in the drama course I took two falls past, and used them. They helped a great deal, surprise something I learned in school actually having an application! I also used some of my cognitive training to redirect my anxiety. I said, yes I am nervous, but that is normal in this situation. However, I said I am also excited and looking forward to meeting my class. That is, in some ways, quite strange. There I am, in front of 22 strange faces, and I am looking forward to meeting them.

Before entering class, I had an entire sequence of events worked out. I would walk downstairs, down the hall, open the class door, and let every one in. when I actually stepped out of the stairwell, the door to my class was wide open, and there was a strange person standing in my space. Ack! I think to me, me I says, did I make some kind of major gaffe? Fortunately the woman standing there began walking out mumbling something about wrongly placed signs and some such, but really, her anxiety, I think, made her make an error. So, my class had a bit of a surprise to start their afternoon off.

Given my own distaste for the first class icebreakers that I have had to endure, I kept the one in my class short and sweet. I had them say their name, first and last, and where they were from, and that was it. I believe the first day is stressful enough without having to torture the students. And these ice breakers are not really for the students benefit but the teachers. From there I walked through the syllabus, then through some of the resources available, and finally gave them the first diagnostic. Low stakes writing, but some writing nonetheless. This is a writing course, they need to start by writing.

I answered some questions about the assignment, and sent them on their way. They managed to get out a few minutes early, so they should be mixed in their reactions, happy to escape early, disappointed to have to actually do some work.

The best part of the whole experience is that I enjoyed myself even though I was nervous at the start.

So, the first day went well, though I can't help wondering what they thought of weird old me.

And so

it begins. My summer ends and I have to start thinking once more. A painful and unsettling idea to try to contain within my aging brain box. This morning's meeting will be a long and painful event. I suspect it will be like the monthly safety meetings I had to sit through back in Cold Lake. Mandatory events are hard to attend. I could sit through a long movie or play, if it were something I wanted to see, without too much whinging, but these things are quite horrid. My plan to make it less horrid is to walk to school. Hopefully that will ease some of the blechs and blahs I have this morning.

The next four months will be busy, but we hope they will also be interesting. This is a strange position to be in. I feel a bit unseated. The patterns and pieces of my life no longer fit seamlessly or easily.

I will likely not update this site until Thursday or Friday, after I have taught my first class or two all alone.

Friday August 15

It is extremely quiet this morning. It is cold enough outside that the ac is not running, so, for the first time in a long time the blowers are not running. I can hear the cats stomach rumbling from here, and that is a long way for sound to travel, trust me.

I have been semi-stressed this week. I submitted my syllabus for comments Monday, and I have not heard back yet.I have been tinkering with it all week, and I am reasonably satisfied with what I have, but I need to get the feedback or I will implode.

Next week will be busy. I have a comp thing Monday morning, an MFA thing Tuesday, my first workshop Wednesday, and then the class I am teaching Thursday and Friday. My class syllabus may be online Monday, and it may be openly accessible. If so, I will put a link here for those who are interested in seeing what I have been doing lately.In the meantime you can go here and scroll down to see me listed among faculty/staff. Reality encourages the urge to flee to somewhere warm, say one of the Caribbean islands? It is all experience in one form or the other I suppose.

My course site is now live if you want to oooh and ahhhh. Just click here.

August 8

It is my sister's birthday today. I hope she has a great day, buys a winning lotto ticket and is able to retire and live the kind of life she deserves.

Today is also the end of the hectic week of work in the teaching intensive workshop. I have enjoyed the course so far, and I have learned a great deal. It is beneficial to enter a course with very little knowledge so that upon completion you have come a far distance. I think it would have been very boring if I had entered with more knowledge and experience than I did. Still, it has been a lot of work, challenging, and always interesting. There have been some great discussions throughout, and I must admit, my fellow classmates intimidate me at times.

Daph cat is doing much better now, she had her last pill Monday morning, and this morning she is sitting on the arm of my easy chair doing the purr/rub the monitor thing. I think she wants me to check her email for her, but I don't see why she can't do that herself.

School begins in 12 days.

August 5

Day one was busy, and interesting. I learned a great deal about teaching and the problem associated with creating a syllabus that agrees with my philosophy. I have known for a number of years that a syllabus actually reflects a teachers ideology, and as I learn more I think they go deeper and reflect the teachers personality as well. That is not really news, or a startling insight, it is even part of an essay I read last night, so... The point then is that my syllabus will tell the students who I am, though they may not have enough experience with them to realize that these texts can be close read as well.

Any way, it was a fun day, and today should be interesting as well.

On a side note, today's high should be 98 (real feel 101)! Ain't summer grand?

August 4

Today I begin my week long intensive so you want to be a comp teacher training course. I was a bit stressed last night, but I feel fine this morning. It will feel strange doing a full day once again. I have become accustomed to short days at school. I suppose the weirdest part of this whole thing is that in just 16 days I will start my first class. I am looking forward to it as well as fearing it, a common reaction I would guess.

The weather has been great here lately, though once again we need rain. We have received more this year than last, but not as much as we need.

I gave Daph her last pill this morning, we have been doing the swallow the pill thing long enough that she has become accustomed to having it happen. In fact, this morning she swallowed when she could have spit. She seems to be better, but still not very active. This house is full of inactivity, though the humans in it are still busy. The second law of thermodynamics in action (or inaction?). Ahh, equilibrium, how we are satisfied with our routine.

August 2

This has been a quiet week, other than a trip to the downtown farmer's market, not much occurred. A friend of Carol's came and spent the night, so I suppose that constitutes a huge event given that she was the first, and, so far, only overnight guest we have had. Daphne seems to be doing better, her ears look good, she is not scratching, and she is running away from me as I try to gather her up and stuff a pill down her tiny throat with my big mitts. Only another two days of pills left though, so soon that ordeal will be over. She has been remarkably gentle with me, only a few bites to show for the struggle, no scratches.

Two days and I will be going full blast on my fall program. Monday I start doing my training/syllabus polishing course. I am not as nervous about this as I was about beginning the program last year. Of course, I am far enough into the entire program that I really have no choice but to carry on even though my feet are voting for a visit to some very distant climates. Do you think they could find me if I migrated to the outback of Australia?

We watched Pink Floyd's The Wall this week. I can't help but think of the bathroom scene where Pink sits singing his new song: I want to take of this uniform and leave the show, but I'm sitting here cause I have to know, have I been guilty all this time.

Ahh well, in two days I will be too busy to feel nervous and anxious.

Wednesday July 25

Carol took the Daphenator (aka Purrball) to the vet Monday. Poor cat was a scratchy and was getting a urinary tract illness. Her itchiness was due to her being covered with fleas. Not sure how she could be getting those horrid insects, she never goes outside, but she is. To make it worse for her she seems to be allergic to the bites, making things much worse for the poor kitty. So, now, and for the next six days, we are stuffing pills down her throat (for the urinary thing), and pouring meds down her ears (ear mite treatment). Little kitty appears to be doing better now, at least she has stopped the scratching, but she still flaps her ears occasionally. Her discomfort came on quickly, from start to worse was only a few days.

The weather has been a bit warm here lately. Heat warnings in effect quite frequently, with very little rain. Almost a carbon copy of last summer, makes me think warm summers are standard fare for NC.

Today I am off to the library to get some poetry books, then down to the Harry Teet for some food stuff, and then back to my usual. I have outlined my basic syllabus for this fall, and I have been making some progress on my poetry. I need to spend some time organizing and collating what I have written this summer in an attempt to see where I am at, and how much further I will have to go this fall.

The fall butterflies have set up residence within my body. They move around a bit, but the panic level is becoming constant. Ain't life exciting?

July 15

I find myself unwilling to submit to necessity once more. I went vegan primarily for health reasons, which later morphed into ethical and environmental reasons. It feels good to know that my presence on the earth is not as large as it once was. However, a few weeks ago I saw an article on palm oil in my favorite margarine that has had me rethinking my position. I have managed to avoid thinking about the harm done by drinking non fair trade coffee and non fair trade chocolate. I am resisting the change because I would have to give up some of the things I like: Cheap Chocolate, Cheap Coffee, and Earth Balance better than butter margarine. I guess the next step is to determine what my options are. It is interesting to observe myself going through this dilemma. I have read/heard enough about the process of change that I can see the stages I am going through.

It has rained a little over the last week, and that is really nice. The greenery is really getting green and lush. I toddled down to NC's museum of art last week. It is a 2.5 mile walk through some very interesting spaces. I found myself uncomfortably searching for a bathroom a few minutes into the walk, but managed to survive until I arrived at the museum. I will have to go back there again some day and spend some more time wandering through the displays. There are some photos linked on the side to the walk.

Today is a Whole Foods day. Then back to my usual routine of working.

Monday July Seventh

I was reminded by a sister that this day last year was a popular day for those seeking long and successful marriages. All those sevens were seen as potential lucky symbols. I, of course, urged her to buy a lottery ticket with next month's confluence of eights, probably a lucky series for her.

I saw a short outtake from the beginning of Iris Murdoch's autobiography this morning. When she retired from a mind-numbing job to write full time, she was unable to write at all. It took her some time to find a routine and enough monotony to begin to find thoughts to write. She spent time working her way into a routine that would allow her to write. Add to that a short bit about a teacher dealing with an student with Asperger Syndrome, and I feel lucky to not have either problem. Though the non-productive part of my early summer may be similar to hers, I had too many ideas, and needed to push the silly, repetitive ones aside. Like in meditation practices, which I believe some of my writing activities emulate, monkey mind is prevalent. I find the only way to deal with this is to let the monkey speak and then move on. It is easier to edit out the little blurps than to try to stifle the primate. Stifle him, and I stifle my creativity.

I am off to school again this morning. Spend the day there writing and slogging away at things. Well, maybe not the day, but at least a few hours.

We had a nice rain yesterday evening. Hopefully we can get more this week, we sure do need it.

Summer is great here, gorgeous. I love it.

July 1

Snap.
three am I sit up, staring at the closet's open doors
sleep eludes me, and after forty-five minutes I give up
came down and say hi to Daphne
she purrs a bit and hunkers down
to the serious business of eating


I was thinking of taking a trip somewhere today
but I have no desire this morning
my sleep has been rather broken the last few nights
party types on the weekend, and now this accidental waking
must be the unsettled weather

Happy Birthday Canada
and happy celebration to all my Canadian relatives and friends

June 29

One year in Raleigh as of today. A year ago today I was busy throwing the last few things into the pod and chasing the kitty round the yard. Though there was a few minutes of panic that morning, the move went well, and smoothly.I am not looking forward to next year when a move is likely inevitable.

The temp when I came down this morning was 78 (it is 5:31), and we expect a high of 90. Real summer weather, the only down side is the drought is apparently building once more, and we are likely going to have to engage in major water saving practices soon.

A mourning dove who's
song birds are warming up in the woods
The sun is close enough to risen that I can see the jet's vapor trail, though the rest of the sky is featureless, to bright for stars, to dark for features.

I had planned on staying in bed a bit longer this morning, but the neighbors decided to come outside and discuss the wonderful party, they yell and chatter waking me up. I finally gave up, turned my light on and got up. Of course as soon as I did, they shut up. Next Friday I will need to consider not doing any sleeping.

I have been happy enough through much of my time here. The ac and heating were funky, we never did get screens for the windows or a new front door, but it is a nice place. Large, airy, and comfortable. I am sitting on the back deck enjoying the morning, and that is enough to make the place feel like home.

June 24

Morning pleasures

strawberry/rhubarb jam on multigrain toast
stepping inside to a house full of fresh brewed coffee aroma
post thundershower air outside
brightening blue as the sun rises
crows continuing yesterday's argument on rising
wet slippers from a damp deck
the first slurp of coffee
song birds singing above the crickets and frogs, or is that harmony?
photoshop disasters: http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/2008/06/sears-lets-have-big-hand-for-model.html
train whistles

June 23

It has been very quiet here the past few days. Nothing has happened. Well, not very much anyway. I made a trip to the farmers market last week though I may have mentioned that in the last post? The weather has been cooler, but I have not really been out enjoying it until this morning. I walked to school today and spent the morning on the ninth floor of DH Hill Library doing some writing. I hope to have a photo up on my Picassa site, or maybe even the Photo a Day site later.

My photo a day project is actually over. I wanted to do it for awhile earlier in the year, but had no intention of continuing for the full year. Now I am taking photos at a lower frequency, though I still would like to take a photo a day. I was thinking about writing today, and wondering how many f stops one can fit into a poem. Depth of focus is useful in poetry as well as photography. One can try to bring the entire image into view, or one can make the object of the poem/photograph in focus and the rest out of focus. Even in poems one needs to be aware of specular highlights and how to use them. Of course there are differences between the two art forms, but they are not so separate either.

My walk to school this morning (roughly two miles) was pleasant. My only complaint is that I was soaked by the time I arrived due to a high humidity. The air was moist, but the sun was shining, no clouds were interfering with the blueness, and it was perfectly calm.

My writing went well, I managed to get around six pages (handwritten), which might be squeezed down to half a page, so I am pleased with the effort. I also managed to get some work done on my syllabus for the fall course. I don't have long until I will be in full fall panic mode.

June 18

The weather is wonderful this morning. Clear, cool, dry, sunny, and calm. I went for a short walk this morning, and was amazed at how green it is. All the trees and all the undergrowth are full of green. I had a great walk.

I went to school Monday and picked up the text I will be teaching from this fall. I am going to have to spend some time looking at it and designing a course/assignments over the next month or so.

The weather is supposed to be nice for the next few days. I am thinking about making a trip somewhere while it remains great...Maybe tomorrow?

June 15

It has been quiet here the past week or so. The weather has been moderately warm, making it wiser to remain inside where it is slightly cooler. This morning is the coldest it has been in the last ten days or so, and what is even better, it is raining. I have been up far too long due to an urpy cat on my bed. No laying about when you hear that, especially when you washed your sheets just the day before.

My writing is going along ok lately. Some days I am pleased with my progress, some days it is not so good. Rather manic...

I have no interesting news, due to being stuck inside. I am missing my photo sprees, but hopefully I will get out this week at least once or twice.

June 6

It is five-thirty and the temperature is 77(feels like 79). Heat advisories are out, with the weather people threatening temps near 100 today. Definitely summer. I am sitting out back this morning, and it is pleasant, a slight breeze, noisy birds, no sun, and warm. The only negative is that our ac is not working well, the downstairs heats up, and that means the upstairs unit is unable to cope, so the upstairs heats up as well.

I have made some writing progress the past few days, the panic levels continue to ebb and surge, but at least I am making progress, a little.

Been quiet here the past few days, too hot to make long walks, and I am too lazy to think about other kinds of walks. Maybe next week?

June 4

Today was my mother's birthday, she would have been 88 today.It is also a nephew's birthday, so happy birthday to him as well. Mom used to say the wild roses were blooming on her birthday, and I do hope they are doing so again this year. Feels strange to talk about new blooms so late in the season. Soon the magnolia's will end their season and the crepe myrtle will take over. Rather exciting to always have something blooming here. Just recently our little morning glory that grows in the pot has begun to bloom, four blossoms in total so far. The rest of the plants are doing ok as well it is a green border on our back deck.

Today is a wonderful summer day. It is currently 80 (going to 95) but feels like 87 with humidity. People say it is the humidity that sucks, but I think that is what makes it great. Though I must admit I am glad I do not have to actually do hard labor out in the heat. It would be like working in the boiler rooms all the time. The plants seem to enjoy it though.

New photos from my trip to the arboretum are up (see June 2), and in an hour or so a new photo of the day should magically appear.

June 1

I should be writing, but I have some computer maintenance happening (moving last month's photos to back up drive)along with some photos uploading (check the link to the right) so I thought I would update my blog. It is a new month after all.

Last Tuesday I went down to the arboretum once again. The kinds of flowers that were blooming has changed once again, but there are a lot of them blooming still. There is a huge variety of trees on the site as well, and they have different shaped leaves, and different colored leaves, so even if flowers were not blooming, there would be a lot of interesting plants to ogle.

Other than that the week was quiet. I spent most of my days in my office pretending to work, while really just looking blankly at the screen much of the day. If there were paying jobs for looking blankly at monitors, I likely would be among the best and highly paid. And no, I was not surfing the internet, nor playing video games, just blankly staring at what little I managed to write in the latest Indesign document. My panic level rises with each passing day, only 60 some days left until I start my final term.

Not sure what I will do this week, other than sit and stare at my monitor some more. The forecast looks nice for the week, so I may wander off a bit, though I might not.

I think I will try opening an indd and see if I can get writing as all my morning photos are uploaded. Might be a bit slow yet, but probably fast enough for me.

May 25

Just a quick happy post this morning. I do believe summer has arrived, finally. It is going to be warm today and tomorrow, and for some time to come by the looks of it. But what really makes it feel like summer is the smell of the air outside today. And the bird song, connected with the way the sun is coming up. I love summer, the heat, the humidity, the light...

This morning is gorgeous.

May 24

I am home from the big state farmer's market. I was not really planning on going down there today, though I was aware that it was not too far from my intended terminus. My goal when I left home was to reach Lake Raleigh, a small man made lake just off Centennial Campus. When I arrived at the lake, the dock and the benches were all claimed by fisher types, and so I said to myself, Mike I said, why not carry on and see how far the market really is, if you begin to grow weary, you can always turn around and return whence you came. I know, I have this tendency to speak to myself in archaic English constructions. Any way, as I was wandering around marveling at how bushy the middle of town is, I ended up at the market. I am currently downloading the few photos I took (turtles and such like), and maybe I will put up a link over there later. If not, you can visit the link that is up, and then go visit the whole gallery and look for today's date. No special photos today, though, just way to bright to be able to get good photos.

I did make it back to Artsplosure last Sunday, more photos are on my picassa site if you are interested. The sandcastle was cool, and some of the jazz and soul that was offered was incredibly good. I would have paid money to see the three acts I liked. The fourth was just so so. The rest of the week was really quite quiet. One long long day trip to Chapel Hill with a tour of the Coker, and I was able to caress my old friend Walter (big pine tree). Not sure what it is about that tree, but I really like it.

Writing is going along ok, though I really do need to tie the pen to my finger and get busy. Too much to do, not enough time to do. Still, I suppose, I can only do what I can do, work or not.

I think I will wander over to the arboretum this week, it has been awhile since I was last there. Maybe Tuesday.

One of these days I need to slip over to the duke gardens as well. Maybe the following week?

May 18

I am sitting on the back deck, listening to the birds wake, watching the sky grow lighter, and I wait for the coffee to finish cooking so I can get me a cup. It is quite nice out here this morning. I suspect the day will be nice as well.

Yesterday I went to downtown Raleigh to see their Artsplosure. I was not all that impressed by the items on display, much of the art is commercial art, the kind of stuff you can buy at any mall or small gallery. What interested me the most were the live bands. I would have liked to stay longer, but I was growing tired by the time I left.I may go down again today to finish taking photos of the sand sculpture that was being built yesterday. I put up some photos on Picassa, and you can follow the link on the right to get to them.

As I was wandering around, I was thinking that a few years ago I would not have been able to go down to that event, let alone take photos of strangers. I would have felt too weird, too much like I was the center of attention. Another change.

We went for a short walk last night and I was, once again, stunned by how green things have become. Lots of berry bushes of some kind are blooming there as well. I have no idea what kind, but they are really smelling up the little trail. Add to that sweetness the power of the honeysuckle, and it is like riding on the bus with a woman who over perfumes. The sky was an incredible rich blue for most of the day, too blue for belief.

I have a few venues I still want to check out this summer. The Duke gardens, the state flea market, the art museums park, and of course the arboretum again.

The first bird of the morning has arrived at the bird feeder. I suppose that is my signal to go read my reader.

May 9

One year ago, on the seventh of May, I made my first journey into Raleigh. To celebrate, though I was not aware that an anniversary was actually occurring, I went down to the Moore Square Farmer's Market with Carol.The day was much cooler than it was a year ago, but still very nice. High seventies when we were out and about rather than the mid nineties of last year. I remember the walk, and being lost and disoriented, and very happy that I had managed, after much trial and error, to arrive at where I wanted to arrive. Getting home was a treat after a long stressful day. Earlier this morning, I was looking back through the archive of posts from last year and thinking about how much has changed in this past year. Most notably, I know which way is South when I look out my window.

I was rousted out of a great sleep this morning by a rather loud thunder storm. No damage occurred here, at least that I can see from my window. A tornado touched down in Greensboro (city about two hours drive west of here) causing some damage and at least one death. The tornado watch remains in effect for another hour, but I see some sunlight on the lawn below me, so I hope the storm system is passing by. I would love to be out walking, hopefully I can wander off soon.

I went for a nice long walk yesterday morning. I ended up down at the boat rental place on Lake Johnson. I sat on one of the rocking chairs and wrote for nearly an hour, though I did not write anything that is worth keeping. I enjoyed being able to write again. There is pleasure in doing what you love, even if there is a specific project that must be fulfilled at the end. I probably won't walk quite so far today, but I do hope to wander off for a bit later on, once the danger of getting stormed on has passed. I did get rained on yesterday, but it was a nice gentle rain, and I rather enjoyed it, though the humidity made my shirt cling to my back.

May 6

I went to the arboretum yesterday, and took a few photos. I have linked to them over on the right, but be warned, there are a lot of photos there. I will be cleaning them up a little over the next while, but there will always be lots of photos there. Everywhere I looked, something was blooming, the range of color was overwhelming. The roses were gorgeous, but I think my favorite were the various kinds of mountain laurel. It is a great place to go and spend a few hours and de-stress a wee bit.

Today I go to the library to return some books, and pick some others up. I have not yet decided if I will walk there or back or not at all. It will be warm today, so if I decide to walk there, I need to do it in the morning I suppose. It might be worth doing the walk, but I will have to think about it.

I have cleaned my bathroom (floors are clean enough to eat off of, though that is a rather gross thought), my bedroom looks neater (just don't look into my closet), and my desk/office is ordered. I can now begin the process of messing things up once again.

May 4

I submitted (electronically) my final essay for my first year yesterday afternoon at 4:55. I am reasonably pleased with the essay,given the amount of time I spent on it, and the amount of research I did. I would recommend the short stories of Charles Chesnutt to anyone who likes (as one student in my comp class said) old-timey stories.

I find it easier to write about my personal year than evaluate my educational year. I had a few disappointing courses this last year, and a few disappointing teachers. I learned a fair amount, I suppose, but it has not been everything I had hoped. It just occurred to me that part of what has pulled me back to photography this past term has been my disappointment with the courses I was taking. The only course I really enjoyed was the African American Literature course. The others had problems that I could not get over, and that made them much harder for me to work with. I find that I am less patient with things, if I feel something is a waste of my time, it is hard for me to do the reading/writing necessary.

What was good about the year? I think my poetry has improved, though I am not the best judge of my own work. I learned a great deal about various genres about which I was totally ignorant a year ago. I learned a great deal about teaching, though I still have a lot more to learn. I found I could stand in front of a group of people and not die from their scrutiny. I feel less out of place in the classes I am a part of, and more and more I feel less stupid than I used to. Though I must admit that I find I am easily intimidated by the intelligence that is present in the classes.

Overall, I think the year has been as success. I am pleased with where I am now intellectually, and ready to take the next step.

My plan for today is simple, though it has not gone as I had hoped so far. I had originally planned on sleeping until six, but I woke at three-thirty and could not get back to sleep. I will definitely be napping this afternoon. Any way, I will be cleaning my bedroom/bathroom/office this afternoon. And no, I won't clean yours for you. Tomorrow I think I will head off to the arboretum, and Wednesday I will go down to the farmers market. Either this week or next I will go to Durham and visit the Duke Gardens.

I have some mail I need to respond to, I have been rather delinquent in that. I am going to start the day with a long walk and pancakes when I return. Sounds good?

One Year

A year ago, at this time I was sleeping fitfully, stressed about what was to come. Actually, I might have been up getting ready to leave the hotel.

Differences between today and a year ago: It is colder today (forecast says 69, last year was 93 or 94). There are more flowers around (the magnolia should be blooming soon. I walked by one Friday and it is heavy with buds). I am hiding in my office writing an essay rather than traveling across North America. I think I would rather be traveling than writing the essay. I know which way is north.

The biggest changes are actually more subtle. Knowing which way is north is part of my acclimation process, though I suspect I would still get confused if I were to head off to Chapel Hill again. I don't feel so out of place here now, the first few months I felt totally alien. Seeing the NC license plates looks natural now, and no longer creates a sense of dislocation. The reminders in signs on trucks and buses, and bulletin boards has also become natural. The thick southern accents, the changing accents still stand out, though that is in part due to my being in an area that is very cosmopolitan, and there is a great variety of different accents here. The heavy green that comes from plant life is still assaultive, but I enjoy the abuse. This spring has been so much prettier than last (a late, heavy frost hurt many of the flowers last year I think), in part because I have watched it through the whole season. I remember how shocked I was coming from the naked grays of Alberta to the green here, how strange and unreal it all felt. Now, as I look at images from the north, I think how strange it would be to see so little green. Even in the midst of January there was a lot of green from the magnolias and holly and pines.

The changes I have experienced over the last year are harder to identify and write about. I have done some things, casually, that I could not have done in the past. Other things I have known as I was doing them that they were extraordinary for me, but I was still doing them. Some things I had not thought I could do, yet I did them without too much trouble. That is a bit ambiguous I suppose, but it is hard to define the changes that have occurred when they have been so gradual in many cases. I am different today than I was a year ago, and not just because I know which way is north. I have acquired a deep affection for the startling blue skies, the multi-hued greens that are everywhere, and the warm weather (even in winter).

I have changed over this past year, I suppose. But it is hard to identify those changes. I am comfortable in my current location, though I miss my family at times. It will be interesting to see how I feel in a year.

Tuesday, April 29

One day away from a year hear!

This is going to be a long day, but it will be a relatively stress free day. I like that. I will be spending the day watching and listening to what class mates and undergrads have to say.

I handed in one essay yesterday, and that leaves me with one more due Saturday. Four days to write it up. I have my research done, I just need to do the writing now. I have most of Wednesday, and all of Thursday to Saturday to work on it. I am really looking forward to the end of the semester.

I was thinking as I went into school yesterday that part of what has bothered me this term is the restrictions on what I can read/explore within each class. The limitations of genre reading chaff. Being required to read something, even if it fails to grab one within the first chapter, is irksome. I would like to be able to go into a class, say that this text failed to work, say why I set it down, and not be penalized for doing so. I did read some great texts in the one class however. It was also the more challenging of the three intellectually as well.

We had a great rain over the weekend, I think we received around two inches. Hopefully, this wetness will allow for some great seasonal vegetable and fruits this summer. I am looking forward to some local peaches. Last years crop was destroyed by a late frost.

One day, huh?

April 25

I am sitting on my back deck listening to the birds mumble and complain about the coming dawn. Or they may be baby birds begging for food. The cheeping and chirping is quite loud. It is warm (high 50's)and going warmer today (84). It feels wonderful to be able to sit outside again, sipping my coffee, and relaxing before the day really begins.

My week has gone better than expected. One paper had the due date bumped forward to Monday, so I have the weekend to slave on it. I spent Wednesday fussing and writing a presentation for Thursday morning, even though I knew I would likely not have to present if I did not wish to. To determine speaking order, we drew lots, and I drew #5. That would have been high enough to push me into next week before I had to present. The man sitting next to me drew #1, but was reluctant to go first, so I offered to exchange with him. Shocking, huh? What makes this even more impressive in my eyes is that I went first in Wednesday night's class as well. That was a shorter presentation, but it was still a presentation.

To celebrate I walked home from school. It was a wonderful afternoon, mid-seventies, lots of sun, and a light breeze. Nearly perfect weather. After supper I also went for a walk (link to photos of lots of green stuff on the right), so I had two great walks yesterday, and that has helped my stress levels a great deal.

This morning I am strolling down to the library for some books, and then I have to sequester myself in my office and work on an essay. I hope to be able to get another evening walk, but that will depend on how things go today. My current goal is to finish a rough draft of this paper by Saturday evening, and spend Sunday polishing it. I can then turn it in Monday sometime, and move onto the next paper. I will need a rough draft of that paper done by Thursday, and that will give me Friday and Saturday to do the polish/edit. Tuesday will be a shot day. I have to go to school and listen to my classmates do their presentations (though that should be interesting). I can relax and enjoy them as I have finished mine! :) In the afternoon I will go to the comp class I was a part of, and listen to the groups there do their presentations. I am excited to see what they have done with their projects.

Wednesday is my one year in America anniversary. It has been a fast year. I suppose I should think about what has changed for me in that year.

Saturday I will have completed my first year of the MFA program, and I suppose I should think about what that means as well.

It is a beautiful morning.

Chapbook

I am nearly done my edits for the spring workshop. I have a collection of ten connected poems. If you would like a copy, send me an email, or leave a comment, and I will send out a pdf.

I am also into my final panic. One week of classes, two essays, and two presentations. Have I done any work on these projects? No. Am I panicking? YES!

The weather has been nice this week, and looks nice in the following few days. Some rain arrived last night, and, with luck, we will get a lot more today and tomorrow.

A much longer entry will appear after the semester's end. That is in two weeks. Or sooner, depending on what kind of progress I make towards completion of the semester's labors.

who is freezing?

Word reached me of some rather unpleasantness up north, so I had to do a litlle bragging. This is a photo of a crow looking for a place to take a cooling dip in our creek (about 50 yards from the back porch where I took the photo, I am still too crippled to go much of anywhere). The current temperature is 83, and with luck we will actually reach 85. I love the south (such as it is).

I am still busy. So much to do and only a few days to do it in. Panic levels are rising, but I am too broke to flee to a warmer climate. Ah, if only poets recieved enough respect to get a free ride in life.

Friday April 11

It is 5:33 and I am sitting outside slurping my coffee. I can hear frogs, some birds, the creek (which is still flowing nicely after last week's rain)cricklin away beneath the traffic noises. Above me the stars glare through the new leaves and seedpods trying to convince me that I should still be sleeping. I am, of course, pretending that they are inanimate and unable to send messages of sleep and warm cozy beds. Though it is not cold out here this morning, and to make the day begin with hope, the forecast says we may get above 80. A low pressure is coming in from the west, however, and it will be much much colder come Sunday and Monday. The trees are beginning to leaf out enough that the neighbors across the creek are less visible. I am looking forward to summer.

Today I am off to the arboretum, though I really should be staying home and grading papers. But if I were a responsible sort, I would not be an artist sort. One of the benefits of being a poet is claiming the perks and running off after small pleasures at times when a responsible person would be working. School is winding down, only two more weeks and it will all be done for this term, well, mostly. Three weeks and everything will be done. I am going to be a bit busy those last few weeks though. One paper, a presentation, and my chapbook. By the way, I have had no requests for the chapbook so far.

It is great to be able to sit outside in the morning, I forgot how much I enjoy doing this. Winter really does suck up all the pleasure a person gets out of life. Damn winter!

Friday April 4

We received another half inch of rain overnight/yesterday. Though it is a bit disappointing to not be able to go running around taking pictures of all things green, it is sure making things go green. I am hoping it will be dry enough to allow me to go to the arboretum today. I want to stick my nose into some wisteria, and perhaps, take a photo or two of it blooming. On the bus home yesterday, I looked off in that direction, and there was a tree that was not yet leafing. But it was covered in the light blue/white of the wisteria flowers. Very beautiful, for a weed.

I finished my teaching yesterday with some individual conferences. It is quite terrifying to think that there are only three weeks left in this semester. In two weeks I have to have one paper written, finish my edits for a chapbook, and have a rough draft of another paper polished enough to do a presentation, and grade a whack of papers. The next three weeks will be incredibly busy.

Two posts in one week, wow!

Haven

It is the morning of April 1, and the silly jokes are flying around. I, however, will not play any jokes this morning. Mostly because I forgot today was April 1 and cannot think of anything brilliant.

I managed to put one photo a day on my web site last month. Given how busy I am/was I think that is an achievement worth bragging about. I failed to write a poem a day three times, mostly because poem writing takes longer than photo putting up does. I will need to go through what I wrote and see if there are any lines,or start of poems that I can use to actually create something interesting. Because of my success last month, I am going to continue this project this month. Image and poem. Both are teaching me things I need to know. Poetry has one advantage over photography, no blown highlights and no underexposed/overexposed areas. Photography has the advantage in its ability to show a story, rather than tell.

0.79. That is how much rain we received in the last 24 hours. It was rather amazing how green the world became with yesterday's showers/rain. Flowers are coming along nicely everywhere I look, masses of white, red, pink, purple, etc. etc.

The windows in the room where I have my workshop were left open on the weekend. The desk was covered in pollen (yellow), as were all the window sills, and I would guess all the books. The seminar room doubles as a library for MA/MFA thesis, and I wonder how wise it is to keep them there after seeing the pollen everywhere.

I handed in my last two poems for the workshop last night, and it felt good. Over the next two to three weeks I will be doing some editing/organizing, and putting them into chapbook format. If anyone would like a pdf file of the finished product, I would gladly email them one once it is ready (End of April).

Today I teach the full class for the last time this term. I still have a ton of papers to grade, but that won't happen until next Tuesday, so I will be concentrating on other tasks this weekend. This semester has been rather busy, and I will be glad when it is over.

Saturday March almost over

Wow, it has been a fast semester. One month to go, and so much to do. Panic time, I suppose. My main teaching process will be over next week, with some grading to do next weekend. From there on in, I will be back to the assistantship exercise. I have received my schedule for the fall. I will be teaching a class around noon Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday. I have the exact time, but that is upstairs.

Yesterday was Arboretum day, and it was a gorgeous day. The high came close to 80 for the first time this year. Today is scheduled to be much colder, but there is hope that the warm temps are coming back. The cherry trees are blooming, the tulips are blooming (some mighty big tulip flowers), half of all the plants in Raleigh are blooming, and the other half are getting ready to go green. There has been an incredibly fast change from the gray of a few weeks ago.

Having reached the final third of this semester I can evaluate my courses effectively. I am deeply disappointed in the Southern Literature course. Half the texts chosen are poorly written fluff, the others are acceptable. The depth of discussion is incredibly shallow, I could do as well, or better, at a local book club I suspect. My Workshop is ok, but the leader has made it his hobby horse, writing anything outside the boundaries of the simple narrative is resisted. Actually the instructors for both these courses are happy with discussions only if it agrees with their opinion. My African American Lit course is the best of the lot. I am learning a great deal, the text chosen are interesting and are all on the theme the instructor established in the syllabus. I am looking forward to having a semester free from literature courses. After this year, I have absolutely decided I will not be going for a PhD in English literature. I enjoy the theory, but the kind of courses I would have to slog through would drive me totally insane. Notice, I do acknowledge a certain amount of insanity already.

Today I am going to go for a walk, then settle down with a few novels that I have to have finished reading by Tuesday. Morrison's Sula first.

March 22

I had promised myself I would leave posting my photos to the other site, but I find I cannot resist this image of lilac's blooming.

Last week was busy. I managed to get through the week without imploding. I find I am getting more and more comfortable in front of the class, and I am learning with each class I teach. I am not sure that I have been entirely successful in what I want to have the students take from each class, but I am learning what does not work, at least for this class. I am also getting a feel for the class dynamics, and how to work with what the students are comfortable with. Interestingly enough, I am half way through the section I am too teach. And I find I am doing different things than some of the others who are doing the TA thing.

I am enjoying spring here in Raleigh though it has just begun. In the last three or four days their have been some rapid changes. More and more trees are turning green, more plants are flowering, and the weather has felt like spring. The high for today should be in the low seventies, and that makes me look forward to the warmth of summer.

It just occurred to me that in one week I will have been in NC for eleven months. It has been a full 11. I find that what I am starting to associate with the image of NC in my mind are the long leaved pines. Green is NC, though the flowers are quite amazing as well.

March 16

I have been busy the last few days. Not as busy as I should have been, but busy none the less. I taught two full classes last week, and have another six to go. It feels strange to be teaching, but less intimidating(not the right word) now. This week's classes should be less stressful as I move from doing all the work towards having the class do more writing and focus on their essays. It will still require a great deal of preparation, but I suppose that is normal.

During the last 16 days I have managed to take one photo that qualifies (though some days just barely) as a photo of the day (see link in side bar). Yesterday I got a cool photo of a spider preparing its breakfast. I have seen a few deer, and taken their photos, but I always see them in low light conditions, and as they are moving, so my photos tend to be blurry and poorly lit. I need to figure out how to change that. Maybe if I increase shutter speed, open up the exposure, and use a higher iso? course most times I barely have time to lift the camera to my eyes before the bouncy things have sproinged into the bush. And as the undergrowth greens up (as are many of the trees), the little beggars vanish quickly.

Friday was spent at the arboretum taking photos. Some of the blooming trees and shrubs are magnolia hybrids, flowering apricots (which are beautiful trees, black gnarly bark and stems, but gorgeous red flowers all along the branches length), some kind of autumn cherry or Cleveland cherry (?). If you look at the photo of the day page you will see a guy working one of them street light changing trucks and in behind him are the trees. Part of what makes these trees so spectacular is that they are set up against a gray background. At times it looks like it has snowed, and these branches are covered in the white s**t. They are a hardy tree (zone 4-8) so those of you living in the bleak northern wastes might be able to grow them as well.

I have added some links to some more photo albums at the bottom of these posts, so if you are interested you can go look, but be warned, most of these albums are full of unedited, and at times poorly exposed, photos. But there are also some cute kitty pictures as well, so maybe it all works out in the end?

March 8

My wonderful holiday nears its end. I am not really ready to return to my studies, but I suppose I can look forward to the year ending very soon. I did not manage to get everything I wanted to do done during the break. I have done enough to help me get through the next few months though, and I am satisfied with what I did, though I will remain busy. I am still keeping up with my poem/photo a day resolution.

I went for a walk early yesterday morning and beat the rain. I did add some photos to my Picasa site, so if you are interested in checking them out, the link is down at the bottom of the page. We did get some rain yesterday, the stats page at Accuweather claims 1.17 inches in the last 24 hours. The rain began around 8 am yesterday so it should be moderately accurate. The rain feels wonderful after so many dry weeks. Hopefully we will get a lot more rain this month, though that seems doubtful.

Photo Maxed

I am back from the arboretum with a whole lot of photos. I have not yet selected the one I will make my photo of the day, but if you are interested in looking over the whole collection (around 300) just slip over here.

I was going to make some silly comment on how warm it was today (74 right now), how green it is becoming, though the trees are not yet leaved out, and how awesome it is to be surrounded by flowers on the third of March. But I am too kind to do something so cruel to those of you who are living in the white lands.

I hope you look over the photos (though some are rather bad) and enjoy the taste of Raleigh's spring.

Arboretum

I am excited this morning, and you might think that is a weird thing to be at five am. I do have just cause however. First, the forecast high for today is 72! and that is a wonderful thing when one is getting sick of the long dreary winter. Makes me think of the Tom Cochrane song "Beautiful Day" If you are interested in the lyrics, they are posted at this site. Anyway, it is going to be warm, and I too and tired of shades of brown and gray. Which is part of why I am off to the Arboretum today, to see some shades of green, and maybe a few flowers, though those may not be present in a place dedicated to the magnificence of trees. I should have an image of the day up some time this afternoon at the other site. Speaking of daily deeds, I have managed to keep up with my plan so far (poem/photo per day). I know it is only day three, but success is success.

I will let you know how the day went this evening, and post a link to any photos I feel are worth sharing. Due to the massive size of my photo gallery at Picassa, i had to delete some photos yesterday. I am going to try to be a little more discriminating in what I post.

Migration

I have set up another blog for the photos I will be taking this month. I have set up a link on the right hand side but you can get to Yawnycat here as well. One word of caution, as I add images this month to that page, it will become slow loading.

Today is a wonderful day. I woke at my usual time and instead of sitting on my nice soft chair sipping coffee until noon, I put on some shoes and convinced Carol we should go take some photos of the lake in the dark. The photos I took today, and the one up at the new site, were taken between six-thirty and seven-thirty. It was a bit cold this morning, but not horrid.

I ate lunch on the back deck, and I currently have my window open. It is hard to believe it is March 2 already.

I am glad it is Sunday, and to celebrate, I am off to have a nap.

Check out the new blog, k?

Spring Break

Spring break begins today. I am definitely ready for the break from the usual, not that I will be doing anything fun. I am too old for the shenanigans that happen on the beach, and too poor for a mild holiday in the mountains. I will be going over to the arboretum next week. That sounds like the act of a wild an crazy guy. Ok, so maybe not.

I have set myself a wee goal for March. I plan on taking one photo per day and posting it on a blog. The link will be put up later today, once I find a decent place to upload an image a day. I have added one to this page that I took yesterday. I am not sure what it is supposed to be, but it is a stainless steel sculpture I ran across on NCSU's campus yesterday.

I will also be writing a poem a day, though those I will not be posting.

I do have a fair amount of school work to do this week, but there are no nasty interruptions from actually having to go to school.

Because I like to make this page load slowly for those of you who are still on dial up...I will add a low light photo I took of the Bell Tower at state yesterday evening as I was returning from Harris Teeter.

Day after update:
Here is the cake and candles from my birthday. Carol shocked me with this when I came home last night. As you can see, firemen were kept on standby until I had extinguished the flames. Great cake, and a great day.



I walked to school with Carol yesterday and took some photos of spring. Here I am standing below some kind of pretty tree that is full of blossoms. I have no idea what kind of tree it is, but it is gorgeous. I have added a link below to the full set of photos, some of which are blurry, but still accessible.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


It is someones birthday today. Some 44 years ago, on a bitterly cold morning, my world began. Of course, my first memory begins some three years later when I fell into the cellar. Today, however, the weather is quite balmy. The sun shines, the temperature is nearly fifty, and I am getting younger. My plan, from this year forward, is to become a year younger with every birthday. I find it to be a reasonable plan, but it is met with derisive laughter generally. Ahh well, people mocked Edison's electric bulb too.

My plan for today is to work on an essay, attend office hours, go to my workshop, and come home to sleep. I had a good celebratory supper last night, so I have no need to do anything special today. I might take some photos later today if I can find some pretty trees blooming somewhere...

Three days in Feb

Thursday:
I am feeling a little weirded out today. Not because the weather is nice (cold and rain coming for tomorrow). Not because the kitty sitting on the arm of my chair is gassy (peeyeww kitty!). I am weirded out because I have to finalize the syllabus for the section of the first year English class that I am a TA for. I have to do it this weekend, along with writing an essay about southern culture for the sothern lit course, along with...well, it never ends does it? What is amusing is that I thought I was well organized and would not run into time problems this semester. But no, here I am, mid-semester, and struggling to catch up.

To ease my anxiety, I can look out my front window and see mostly green lawns. Soon the sound of Sunday lawn mowers will fill the air. I actually sat outside last night after coming home from school. I did not stay there long, but for five minutes I was able to look up at the moonlit clouds and not shiver. I have seen cherry trees blooming, and some kind of tree covered in white flowers. Rumor and hearsay it is a 'tulip tree,' but I don't know if that is true. The pansies are full of color,and the dandelions are doing well. Winter huh?




Wednesday:
This photo of a daffodil was taken just a few minutes ago in my backyard! Spring in Raleigh may have begun! I have other photos way down there as well.



****************************************************************************************
Tuesday:


Just a quick update before I go to sleep. The photo that that is sitting on top of this page was taken today. Monday I walked to school in 70 degree weather and saw a small tree with some baby leaves. It feels like spring, and I am enjoying the weather while it lasts. Icky stuff is forecast for after my birthday.Off to get some sleep, I am.

My little left toe is still sore. I went for a long walk yesterday, and a shorter one today, and both days I was a bit hobbly by the time I got home. I think I will need to start wearing sandals as much as possible when I go walking about. There will be days, unfortunately, when I won't be able to do this because it is too cold. Today is not one of those days. The current temperature is 55, sunny, and feeling like spring.

Last week as I was walking around the campus I saw some daffodils blooming and more ready to bloom. I heard one of my fellow students saying that the crocuses were blooming as well. Even though winter is dragging on, and on, there are signs it is not going to last forever.

School is very busy right now. I have the usual poetry to work on. Right now I am doing my first set of paper grading, getting a syllabus ready for March/April when I will be doing all the teaching, writing an essay for my African American literature class, and worrying about not doing any work on my Souther Lit class. I suppose the answer is to stop sleeping for the next few weeks. Even with all I have to accomplish in the next few weeks, I am looking forward to spring break in March. It is only thirteen days away.

Even though I am busy and a bit gimpy, I am doing well. I am enjoying my creative work and I am eating very well. Too well.

Links to recent photos have been added below. I had an interesting observation just now. Even though I live in a city, most of my photos are of nature. Wonder if that means anything?

Sunday February 10

Today I celebrate eight years of not smoking. I can still remember the way I felt when I first quit, and how hard those first three days were. Some experiences are powerful enough that they do not fade quickly from memory. I rarely think about smoking now, but there are some days/times...

Last week was a good week. The weather was incredible, with highs during part of the week in the low seventies! I took the photo at the top of the page yesterday, and it really is that green here.

I have a busy couple of weeks ahead of me. I have to rush through two novels this week (_Cold Mountain_ and _Black No More_), I will have some student essays to grade, poems to review and comment on, poems to write, two essays of my own to write, prep work for two lessons that I need to cover in class, one Tuesday that is an intro to writing in the social sciences, and one on thursday that is all about APA.

I invested some money into a super program Monday. Yes, I purchased the student version of Adobe CS3. It was still more money than I would like, but it is full of awesome programs (Photoshop, Illustrator, Acrobat8, Dreamweaver, Flash, and my favorite InDesign), and I have, unfortunately, wasted a large part of the week playing with Indesign. There is a lot I want/can do with the program in relation to my writing and I hope to explore some of the possibilities over the next few months. I find myself excited about the possibilities, and thinking about what I can do with my poetry. So far all I have done is very basic changes, but I have ideas...

Off to work I go...busy day and all that. I hope it rains soon.