May 24

I am home from the big state farmer's market. I was not really planning on going down there today, though I was aware that it was not too far from my intended terminus. My goal when I left home was to reach Lake Raleigh, a small man made lake just off Centennial Campus. When I arrived at the lake, the dock and the benches were all claimed by fisher types, and so I said to myself, Mike I said, why not carry on and see how far the market really is, if you begin to grow weary, you can always turn around and return whence you came. I know, I have this tendency to speak to myself in archaic English constructions. Any way, as I was wandering around marveling at how bushy the middle of town is, I ended up at the market. I am currently downloading the few photos I took (turtles and such like), and maybe I will put up a link over there later. If not, you can visit the link that is up, and then go visit the whole gallery and look for today's date. No special photos today, though, just way to bright to be able to get good photos.

I did make it back to Artsplosure last Sunday, more photos are on my picassa site if you are interested. The sandcastle was cool, and some of the jazz and soul that was offered was incredibly good. I would have paid money to see the three acts I liked. The fourth was just so so. The rest of the week was really quite quiet. One long long day trip to Chapel Hill with a tour of the Coker, and I was able to caress my old friend Walter (big pine tree). Not sure what it is about that tree, but I really like it.

Writing is going along ok, though I really do need to tie the pen to my finger and get busy. Too much to do, not enough time to do. Still, I suppose, I can only do what I can do, work or not.

I think I will wander over to the arboretum this week, it has been awhile since I was last there. Maybe Tuesday.

One of these days I need to slip over to the duke gardens as well. Maybe the following week?

May 18

I am sitting on the back deck, listening to the birds wake, watching the sky grow lighter, and I wait for the coffee to finish cooking so I can get me a cup. It is quite nice out here this morning. I suspect the day will be nice as well.

Yesterday I went to downtown Raleigh to see their Artsplosure. I was not all that impressed by the items on display, much of the art is commercial art, the kind of stuff you can buy at any mall or small gallery. What interested me the most were the live bands. I would have liked to stay longer, but I was growing tired by the time I left.I may go down again today to finish taking photos of the sand sculpture that was being built yesterday. I put up some photos on Picassa, and you can follow the link on the right to get to them.

As I was wandering around, I was thinking that a few years ago I would not have been able to go down to that event, let alone take photos of strangers. I would have felt too weird, too much like I was the center of attention. Another change.

We went for a short walk last night and I was, once again, stunned by how green things have become. Lots of berry bushes of some kind are blooming there as well. I have no idea what kind, but they are really smelling up the little trail. Add to that sweetness the power of the honeysuckle, and it is like riding on the bus with a woman who over perfumes. The sky was an incredible rich blue for most of the day, too blue for belief.

I have a few venues I still want to check out this summer. The Duke gardens, the state flea market, the art museums park, and of course the arboretum again.

The first bird of the morning has arrived at the bird feeder. I suppose that is my signal to go read my reader.

May 9

One year ago, on the seventh of May, I made my first journey into Raleigh. To celebrate, though I was not aware that an anniversary was actually occurring, I went down to the Moore Square Farmer's Market with Carol.The day was much cooler than it was a year ago, but still very nice. High seventies when we were out and about rather than the mid nineties of last year. I remember the walk, and being lost and disoriented, and very happy that I had managed, after much trial and error, to arrive at where I wanted to arrive. Getting home was a treat after a long stressful day. Earlier this morning, I was looking back through the archive of posts from last year and thinking about how much has changed in this past year. Most notably, I know which way is South when I look out my window.

I was rousted out of a great sleep this morning by a rather loud thunder storm. No damage occurred here, at least that I can see from my window. A tornado touched down in Greensboro (city about two hours drive west of here) causing some damage and at least one death. The tornado watch remains in effect for another hour, but I see some sunlight on the lawn below me, so I hope the storm system is passing by. I would love to be out walking, hopefully I can wander off soon.

I went for a nice long walk yesterday morning. I ended up down at the boat rental place on Lake Johnson. I sat on one of the rocking chairs and wrote for nearly an hour, though I did not write anything that is worth keeping. I enjoyed being able to write again. There is pleasure in doing what you love, even if there is a specific project that must be fulfilled at the end. I probably won't walk quite so far today, but I do hope to wander off for a bit later on, once the danger of getting stormed on has passed. I did get rained on yesterday, but it was a nice gentle rain, and I rather enjoyed it, though the humidity made my shirt cling to my back.

May 6

I went to the arboretum yesterday, and took a few photos. I have linked to them over on the right, but be warned, there are a lot of photos there. I will be cleaning them up a little over the next while, but there will always be lots of photos there. Everywhere I looked, something was blooming, the range of color was overwhelming. The roses were gorgeous, but I think my favorite were the various kinds of mountain laurel. It is a great place to go and spend a few hours and de-stress a wee bit.

Today I go to the library to return some books, and pick some others up. I have not yet decided if I will walk there or back or not at all. It will be warm today, so if I decide to walk there, I need to do it in the morning I suppose. It might be worth doing the walk, but I will have to think about it.

I have cleaned my bathroom (floors are clean enough to eat off of, though that is a rather gross thought), my bedroom looks neater (just don't look into my closet), and my desk/office is ordered. I can now begin the process of messing things up once again.

May 4

I submitted (electronically) my final essay for my first year yesterday afternoon at 4:55. I am reasonably pleased with the essay,given the amount of time I spent on it, and the amount of research I did. I would recommend the short stories of Charles Chesnutt to anyone who likes (as one student in my comp class said) old-timey stories.

I find it easier to write about my personal year than evaluate my educational year. I had a few disappointing courses this last year, and a few disappointing teachers. I learned a fair amount, I suppose, but it has not been everything I had hoped. It just occurred to me that part of what has pulled me back to photography this past term has been my disappointment with the courses I was taking. The only course I really enjoyed was the African American Literature course. The others had problems that I could not get over, and that made them much harder for me to work with. I find that I am less patient with things, if I feel something is a waste of my time, it is hard for me to do the reading/writing necessary.

What was good about the year? I think my poetry has improved, though I am not the best judge of my own work. I learned a great deal about various genres about which I was totally ignorant a year ago. I learned a great deal about teaching, though I still have a lot more to learn. I found I could stand in front of a group of people and not die from their scrutiny. I feel less out of place in the classes I am a part of, and more and more I feel less stupid than I used to. Though I must admit that I find I am easily intimidated by the intelligence that is present in the classes.

Overall, I think the year has been as success. I am pleased with where I am now intellectually, and ready to take the next step.

My plan for today is simple, though it has not gone as I had hoped so far. I had originally planned on sleeping until six, but I woke at three-thirty and could not get back to sleep. I will definitely be napping this afternoon. Any way, I will be cleaning my bedroom/bathroom/office this afternoon. And no, I won't clean yours for you. Tomorrow I think I will head off to the arboretum, and Wednesday I will go down to the farmers market. Either this week or next I will go to Durham and visit the Duke Gardens.

I have some mail I need to respond to, I have been rather delinquent in that. I am going to start the day with a long walk and pancakes when I return. Sounds good?

One Year

A year ago, at this time I was sleeping fitfully, stressed about what was to come. Actually, I might have been up getting ready to leave the hotel.

Differences between today and a year ago: It is colder today (forecast says 69, last year was 93 or 94). There are more flowers around (the magnolia should be blooming soon. I walked by one Friday and it is heavy with buds). I am hiding in my office writing an essay rather than traveling across North America. I think I would rather be traveling than writing the essay. I know which way is north.

The biggest changes are actually more subtle. Knowing which way is north is part of my acclimation process, though I suspect I would still get confused if I were to head off to Chapel Hill again. I don't feel so out of place here now, the first few months I felt totally alien. Seeing the NC license plates looks natural now, and no longer creates a sense of dislocation. The reminders in signs on trucks and buses, and bulletin boards has also become natural. The thick southern accents, the changing accents still stand out, though that is in part due to my being in an area that is very cosmopolitan, and there is a great variety of different accents here. The heavy green that comes from plant life is still assaultive, but I enjoy the abuse. This spring has been so much prettier than last (a late, heavy frost hurt many of the flowers last year I think), in part because I have watched it through the whole season. I remember how shocked I was coming from the naked grays of Alberta to the green here, how strange and unreal it all felt. Now, as I look at images from the north, I think how strange it would be to see so little green. Even in the midst of January there was a lot of green from the magnolias and holly and pines.

The changes I have experienced over the last year are harder to identify and write about. I have done some things, casually, that I could not have done in the past. Other things I have known as I was doing them that they were extraordinary for me, but I was still doing them. Some things I had not thought I could do, yet I did them without too much trouble. That is a bit ambiguous I suppose, but it is hard to define the changes that have occurred when they have been so gradual in many cases. I am different today than I was a year ago, and not just because I know which way is north. I have acquired a deep affection for the startling blue skies, the multi-hued greens that are everywhere, and the warm weather (even in winter).

I have changed over this past year, I suppose. But it is hard to identify those changes. I am comfortable in my current location, though I miss my family at times. It will be interesting to see how I feel in a year.